Should I do Bali?

Here comes the difficult part of being alone again.
Diminished funds.
Forty years of not having to consider very much whether I could afford it or not gets to be a habit.
Of course if I had considered it then,I might not have had to consider it so much today, but that is beside the point now.

A friend of mine asked yesterday, if I would like to join her when she went to Bali in January,her husband would be away and she would enjoy the company.

A lovely idea I thought.It would also combine with my having to make a “visa run” (one of the rusty bits where staying in Thailand for more than a few months is concerned)

But now I can’t just say,yes,which I would have done before.
I now have to consider many things,the main one being,can I really afford this,even if I get the cheapest available flight,and basically I am a 5* girl.
Is Bali really worth it.

I suppose I could fast for a few weeks.
Cut out the gin and tonics,which of course I only take for their medicinal benefits in the tropics.
Not send Christmas cards,which I won’t get back anyway out here.
Not start my art classes again,which are an added luxury and I don’t practice enough.
Forget the hair dressers, even though it does only cost 100 Baht.

Yes,I will really have to think about it.

A Bad Wife

Can’t seem to concentrate on anything these days. Time doesn’t flow by, it rushes like a raging torrent towards the last day of September.

Last week,even the pain returned,that which always makes itself evident in some kind of joint or muscle in my body when I am going through a bad patch. The medical practitioners call it wear and tear at my age. I call it something else. Whatever it is,it is something that is influenced by the cold and my mental attitude.

I have now done something which I don’t think a normal wife does, even when she has been married to the same man for thirty eight years. Maybe a normal woman wouldn’t either, I wonder if I am normal.

I saw an ad. in the paper “Apartment to rent in Thailand ”

My husband and I are both retired,and are lucky enough to be still in good health,with two lovely daughters who don’t need us any more and a cat that does.

We are not alike,in fact we don’t have the same interests in many things. But we did enjoy travelling, and always said we would do it more when we retired,and definitely we would go somewhere warm in the winter.

But we didn’t and we aren’t going to, for Hubby has become a home bird and quite satisfied to potter about in the garden. He likes the Swiss winters,with the cold and the wet,and his body doesn’t rebel them.

We talked about it, and we went to see the owner.The flat could only be let on a years basis but it was at a very reasonable price.

I could do what I liked he said,but he couldn’t see himself going there for more than a month.

I rented it,and I now have a ticket. Return of course.

I also have a very bad conscience.

The devil in me says I shouldn’t have, for thirty eight I have looked after home and family I have a right to do what I like now within reason, while there is time left.

But the other dutiful side of me,says wives don’t do that.They stay at home they cook and they clean,they shop, and they nurse for ever. and they don’t usually teach their husbands how to do it for themselves like I did.

Should I stay here because I once said “I do” is it my duty?

He could fly directly from Zürich if he misses me. I will be twelve hours away.