Saving Money

You might ask what I am doing in Thailand for the winter months.

Not exactly the place for a single woman to go if she was looking for a western man,much too much competition from young Asian women.

No,I am certainly not looking for another man,I am  here for several other reasons;

I hate the cold

I love South East Asia

Most of my new friends are here too.

But most of all, because I now have to look after myself with not all the money in the world to do it with,and here you can definitely  live  more cheaply than in Europe

This money thing,is of course the  stumbling block.

I am sure there are countless women of my age,who might like to get up and leave, start a new life,and try and find happiness and satisfaction in the days that are still granted them, but they are frightened.

Frightened of loosing their security,frightened of being alone in old age,frightened of not being able to pay the bills.Frightened  full stop.

I was too,still am,but I am confident that things will turn out well for me.

I am confident it could also turn out well for you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yesterdays Roses

Yesterday was my 40th wedding anniversary.No that is not completely true.It would have been, but then I was divorced on September the 7th,so I suppose I will have to start again from that date.Yes,I think I will do that because I like celebrating things. What do you think?

Of course there will be no red roses anymore,I never really liked them anyway,so grand,so overpowering.So shall I buy a rose for myself, one  -seeing as I will be paying – of those lovely round pink ones with the tinged green edges. Fragonard would be an appropriate name for them I think.

Yes,I am sad,memories don’t die so easily,but I have many things that make me happy and they are what count now.

A Bad Wife

Can’t seem to concentrate on anything these days. Time doesn’t flow by, it rushes like a raging torrent towards the last day of September.

Last week,even the pain returned,that which always makes itself evident in some kind of joint or muscle in my body when I am going through a bad patch. The medical practitioners call it wear and tear at my age. I call it something else. Whatever it is,it is something that is influenced by the cold and my mental attitude.

I have now done something which I don’t think a normal wife does, even when she has been married to the same man for thirty eight years. Maybe a normal woman wouldn’t either, I wonder if I am normal.

I saw an ad. in the paper “Apartment to rent in Thailand ”

My husband and I are both retired,and are lucky enough to be still in good health,with two lovely daughters who don’t need us any more and a cat that does.

We are not alike,in fact we don’t have the same interests in many things. But we did enjoy travelling, and always said we would do it more when we retired,and definitely we would go somewhere warm in the winter.

But we didn’t and we aren’t going to, for Hubby has become a home bird and quite satisfied to potter about in the garden. He likes the Swiss winters,with the cold and the wet,and his body doesn’t rebel them.

We talked about it, and we went to see the owner.The flat could only be let on a years basis but it was at a very reasonable price.

I could do what I liked he said,but he couldn’t see himself going there for more than a month.

I rented it,and I now have a ticket. Return of course.

I also have a very bad conscience.

The devil in me says I shouldn’t have, for thirty eight I have looked after home and family I have a right to do what I like now within reason, while there is time left.

But the other dutiful side of me,says wives don’t do that.They stay at home they cook and they clean,they shop, and they nurse for ever. and they don’t usually teach their husbands how to do it for themselves like I did.

Should I stay here because I once said “I do” is it my duty?

He could fly directly from Zürich if he misses me. I will be twelve hours away.