‘Marriage isn’t a word……….. it’s a sentance’
The first time it occured to me how ludicrous the ceremony is was in Viet Nam of all places.
We had been there and done it all from the Gulf of Tonking to the Mekong Delta,and now we could relax, like many others before us in Saigon. No, not Ho Chi Minh City,Saigon like it always was and always will be to the people who live there.
Now I wanted a drink and in the Hotel Rex,where I was sure if I closed my eyes I would be able to hear the echoes of the ‘five o’clock follies’-(I belong to the generation who lived through the American War) But today The Rex was experiencing a different type of folly.
Countless couples and their families were seated around tables from parterre to roof garden where amidst the most awfull din they were having their wedding meal. Bunches of brides ,dressed in white, not in elegant ao dais but in mostly tasteless copies of western wedding dresses made out of synthetic lace for the occasion. The ‘occasion’ being so costly that they would probably be in debt for many years to come.
Looking at the faces of some of the brides it was far from being the happiest day of their lives,and I wondered right then and there why do we do it.
Marriage–Does it really fit into todays world be it east or west.With all respect isn’t it laughable.
The novellist Jane Austin wrote in 1814 ‘There is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry….it is all transactions,the one in which people expect most from others and are least honest themselves’
Marriage always was a business deal,in some countries still very much so. The woman would be fed and watered for the rest of her days -if she played by the rules. The man would get most probably a start in life.Children came along as a guarentee for many things. Marriage bound two people together. Love didn’t have a lot to do with it,and if it did how long does it last. A famous French film star guessed two years and I think she’s about right.That kind of love anyway.
So why in this modern world do we want to hang on to something that was very practical a century or ten ago. Woman can work, can rear children without sc0rn or scandal, we dont need costly contracts any more. Men- marriage was never for them anyway.